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Many years ago, I did get drunk and had two one-night stands. I know she found out about them from my ex-friend Bill. He told her about them so he could try to get into her pants. When she told me what Bill had said to her, I called him a ‘fucking liar’. I even went to his house and beat the shit out of him. His wife Sally called the police and I was arrested. It happened a long time ago and Mary convinced Bill to drop the charges for the sake of our kids. To the day my wife died, I’m positive she believed Bill, instead of me. Do I regret my mistakes I made in my younger days? Of course I do, but you can’t turn back the clock and there are no ‘do over’s’. It was at that time in our life that she started going out with the girls every few months. I followed her many times, without her knowing and never once did I find her cheating on me. Most of her girlfriends were married with kids also. I guess they really did just want a night out away from their husbands and kids. Her sister. Even with all the curveballs life had thrown at me over the last year, I simply revised my 5 year plan and my 10 year plan. I had never completely thrown them out.Until that night I spent feeling alone. Crying until my eyes were bloodshot and I couldn't breathe. Curled up in a ball, wishing I had my arms wrapped around my children and feeling Kevin's hands gently running through my hair.The next day, I got on the plane for the long flight home. From Tokyo, I flew to Honolulu then Chicago then took a detour to Richmond.Kevin answered the door, his eyes wide."Mel! What are you doing here? Come in, you're getting soaked," he reached for me.I didn't step into his house. The cab was waiting on me and I couldn't be long."No, Kevin," I said, my voice trembling."What's wrong, Melanie?" he looked worried."I can't do this anymore," I told him."Can't do what?"Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath. Even under the awning at his front door, the rain felt cleansing to me. "I can't fly all over the.
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